Three things have come to my attention:
(1) I waste a lot of valuable time
(2) My priorities may not be in the right order
(3) I have a problem saying NO
Time is of the essence. I have been trying to evaluate where my time is spent, and here is what I have come up with:
Can you see where things may be unbalanced or misplaced? Good, better, best. Can you see where I place my time? I guess this goes along nicely with my second point as well. I have been blessed with a great family, a wonderful job, loyal friends, a time-consuming calling, and those are all awesome and I am so thankful. I really am. But as this graph shows, I am not actually showing my Heavenly Father that I am thankful. I am not focusing on the things that matter most. (Not that work and "boy" are not important). I need to trust in the Lord more; trust that he has a plan and knows what is going on; trust that my "plan" is not the best; trust that if I put the best things right now first, everything else (family, boy, sleep, leisure, etc.) will fall into place as it should.
And maybe it would help if I learned to say "NO" once in a while. Honestly, I think saying yes shows dependability and builds trust. However, it seems to be more of a weakness for me than that of a strength. I never really want to say no (for various reasons), but when I know I should say no I can't seem to. Sometimes in life though, it is time to say no, to put your foot down, stand up for yourself, say "I'm in control, not you," but also to show strength. There is strength in saying no, I think. I really shouldn't be blogging about this because it is a personal thing, but tonight I just needed to get that out there. Say no, Ayris. You can do it. I know you love people and want relationships and friendships and all, but say no. No more.
Anyway, my whole point in this was to get my head back on straight. Not that I want to say no to anything right now, but mainly because I have my head on backwards in a way. I try to take things into my own hands sometimes, and it never ends up how I want it to or how I think it should. You think I would have learned my lesson by now, right? "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." I guess that's what I will say "NO" to - no to doing the same thing I have done my entire life. I want different results in all aspects of my life!
Today was a wonderful day, one of the best days I have had in a long time - I definitely needed it and was very grateful to have had such a wonderful say (thank you!). But it is time to get my head out of my butt, address that my life is moving forward without me, and make some minor adjustments. Keep on keeping on. Trust in the Lord - He does know what He is doing. I need to have stronger faith. But let's be honest here...
My struggle is myself. I have become my own worst enemy. But "NO MORE." Here is to another wonderful day tomorrow, and it will be a great day tomorrow - I know it! Attitude is everything, right?
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